Anybody involved in the circle of bodybuilding and fitness understands that it is an incredibly difficult and trying sport, emotionally and physically. I have been competing since I was 16 years old, that is almost eleven years. I became serious about my goals to go Pro when I was about 19 years old. I decided then that I would make a serious commitment to the training, the dieting, and the discipline to grow and achieve the physique that would place me among the best professional athletes in the world.
As time passed, it became more difficult, and last year, I lost sight of my goals. I began a path and I had lost my direction. I became a person I did not want to be. I allowed negativity, jealousy, and other people's doubts become my doubts.
For those that are not familiar, my latest accomplishment was placing 3rd in the WABBA World Championships-Short Class. I expected to place higher, but I was drifting away from my path and I wasn't 100%. After that, I called a confidante and told her that I was going to quit, that I was finished with the sport. I had sacrificed a lot and I didn't see why I wanted this life anymore. But... something inside was nagging. I had placed third, not first, which I knew I could have done if my mind was in the right place.
It has been three months since then, and with a new year, a new me! New motivation, new commitment, renovated goals to go Pro. I disappeared from the scene these last three months, trying to live a normal life, like "normal people", but at the end of the day, what is normal? The passion for this sport is something inside of me that I cannot separate from, and like anyone who feels tired, I had to take time to myself, focus on the question: is this important enough to me? The answer is yes. Like the eagle, I needed to renovate. Every eagle has a choice when his feathers grow heavy and his beak grows dull: to die or to engage in a renovation that is painful but necessary. He must fly high into a mountain, away from predators. There, he will pull out every one of his feathers with his claws and beak. Then, he will rip out each one of his nails with his own beak. When that is done, he will hit his beak against a rock until it is broken off.
His beak will grow back, sharp like new. His feathers will grow back, as light as ever, and his claws will grow back, strong. He is a new bird, and his flight will continue for another 40 years. This is something that we must all go through. We all reach a point in our lives where we have the choice to give up, or we can make painful sacrifices to continue.
It is a hard road that we all know well. Sometimes, when it is not enough to find the strength in ourselves, because we are weak, we can look to the people who love us and in them, we can see the best side of ourselves. After the dust of 2009 has settled, sitting back now, the hardships are good at the end of the day, because they make you stronger and you realize who loves you, who will be there for you and who shares your passion to achieve your goals.
Little Nicky is back in 2010! See what damage I can do.
Peace and Love and big muscles.
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